A few weeks ago I posted in a panic about missing a homework assignment, I got an email and IM from people telling me that it’s JUST a homework assignment…that I should not fret over it…You know, it’s so true, there are much larger issues I should be worried about. However, I think this goes to say a lot about my mindset, If that’s what you want to call it.
Since then, I have spent some time evaluating my life, at 20, and comparing it to my peers. It’s strange to think that I have never compared myself as a whole against others, its an interesting concept, and a blow to my ego, haha. I am not going to compare myself to others here, but what I saw, kinda scares me on several levels, not only about myself, but as far as society goes, how are we surviving as a society today with the work ethic of our citizens?
I am sitting here with so many thoughts and angles where I could go with this blog…It’s more like a journal entry, should I even be posting this stuff? I should? Hmm, well, where do I go from here? Do I continue on the political tone I started to take in the last paragraph, or do I swing back to my orriginal intention of this post and explain why I despise myself for drowning myself in responsibility? Or should I find a happy medium in there and talk about my insane workload and how I need to tone it down for health reasons…
(After a two hour break doing homework)
Hmm…you know, I will just get to the point, its 5:30 in the morning, I have 4 tests at school I am studying for on Tuesday, I have a project I am thinking about for work, I have 8 freelance websites in progress right now, not to mention my personal projects and my businesses that I am trying to keep running/develop.
There is absolutely too much on my plate. I should be out having fun, not working, I have been so stressed with it all I have watched myself age a decade in the last two years…
Quick psychological evaluation here, but I believe I pile all this work on myself to hide from social problems I have from my childhood. I think I work to avoid social confrontation whither it be going out with friends, or meeting women. I am not sure what it is that is making myself distance from these relationships, but I would rather work than go out for some reason.
I believe as a rush to be successful and a mature, contribuiting member of society I have taken on to much, and its a part of the maturing I should ballance my workload with the rest of my life, I am asuming that is a pivital part of professional life, but I ned to fuigure it out fast before I kill myself from exaustion.
Well that blog post went horribly wrong, night I have a whole two hours to sleep!