So, its 3AM and I just woke up, I HAD homework due at midnight online, I HAD to do it to keep up my grades, but I was so tired from work I passed out before doing my homework.
I had been up 30 hours or so (work), and I stopped at 7-11 to get an energy drink on the way home so I could stay up and get it done, and the assignment was all I was thinking about doing, honestly. Consciously, I wanted to get it done. I told myself 2 assignments ago I would do all of these to keep my homework grades up.
Subconsciously, did I let myself go to sleep? What scares me is I think so, and that really frightens me. I was 5 feet from my computer, Does it mean I am irresponsible?
The jacked up thing, is that its 3AM, and that particular class doesn’t start till 7PM tonight, that’s 16 hours I have free in my schedule (besides other classes) where I can be doing it , I could be doing it now, but arbitrarily it was due at midnight. I knew it was do tonight, so there is no excuse, I could have made time to do it sometime earlier…but I didn’t, I was focused on other things, like work, I billed 130 hours for the last two weeks.
Overall, I consider myself to be responsible, I am a teenager with a good job, shit today is my birthday, I am 20 now, no longer a teenager. I have my priorities in a line, I thought, I have a job, go to school, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t go out chasing ass, have a good work ethic (apparently when I want to)…but WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG with me!
I walk the line, I do it by the book and as honest as possible, what more is there to do? What am I missing?
How are all the irresponsible partying kids getting through school better than I am? I have two math classes, a biology class, and a film class this semester, its a heavy load and I have yet to really study hard, and I guess that’s why I am doing bad…”Hey Keith, you may want to leave work and focus on your studies while you can…”
Today the economy took a dump, the congress denied the 700bil bailout bill today, the Dow Jones fell 777 points, how lucky is that? Time to quit my low paying hourly job to focus on school, I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now, how bad would that suck if it turns in the the great depression two and I am stuck without a job because I quit?
Last week the office fired 100 people who were dead weight, they will not be lenient and let me take time off for school, they have money that needs to be made…
I guess I should start working on my homework due at the begging of my other classes. This is all jacked up. I am pretty pissed at myself right now.
//rant off
Last Rites/Loved to Death by Megadeth